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Water & Air

by Shadow

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1.
Fatality 02:36
Battered, beaten, and ugly, my blood still dripping from my hands. These inner caverns I've gutted leave me hungry as I devour each piece of me I can. Chorus: Oh this fatality now feels a part of me, sewn in the fabric of my being. To strip it away might unravel my frame. Such betrayal seems self-defeating. My craving for comfort knows no bounds. A moth burned always returns to a familiar flame. So while this bed I've made to lay my head down is a filthy one, it's a home all the same. Chorus The twins rivaling inside of me are playing tug-of-war with my puppet strings. So while I'm pulled every way, I never leave from this place. I just stay suspended in space. Chorus
2.
Muse 02:51
Feeding from a poisoned well, contriving truths and citing proof in the lies that haunt me still. I lay claim to what I find on borrowed time. What's the muse and what is mine? Chorus: Oh, I feel this shame. My trepidation is to blame. I'm scared to waste all this potential in one place, so it lies in wait as visions fade and pass me by, and I grow cold and stale in the meantime. A tired soul just destined to lust after dreams too precious to touch. 'Cause I'll be damned if I'll watch them wither at my hand. It's a loss that leads. It's a fear that feeds. It's a troubled mind just trying each time to understand. Chorus
3.
Mother 03:12
Is it not the duty of a mother to devour her child to protect it from another? I couldn't breathe so she'd breathe for me, couldn't be, so she became me. There's not room enough for both of us to come undone. Chorus: I was born from the ashes of a fearful fire. 'Cause her love is like the yearning of a cigarette burning. We're surviving in the in-between, where no one's cruel, but no one's clean. We protect our comfort with a smokescreen. She reaches for me in a haze of dreams, a shared curse to unearth these identities she's fed to me. Fears engineered to keep me near are fading fast, veneers crumble at long-last. Chorus Who fans the flames of this phantom pain? Who can stop the gross decay of this covenant that's been long betrayed? An ache I can not shake, the pain is none if not the same. While this protection breeds infection we're both left to lick our wounds in peace. Or in pieces Chorus
4.
Shell 04:17
There's a cocoon I've built from a web of guilt, I'm both the spider and the fly. What's ensuing will consume me, it's only a matter of time. Chorus: 'Cause here I'm comfortably strangled, securely entangled, safely tucked away from hope and harm. Though rapping at my door could be all I've ever hoped for. Do I take the chance or just sound the alarm? This shell of an old self don't fit me like it did, and I'm itching to get out of it. But when the unknown's calling, this home is calming. It's familiar, undemanding, mine. Chorus Oh, my truth and my bluff are in a fisticuffs. And when my fear's at ease, my soul don't get no reprieve. Fair hits with bare fists, it's dirty and scrappy and quick. When it's good for growth, my comfort takes another blow. I'm writhing in a self-made agony coughing up the blood of my enemy. Chorus
5.
Happy 03:06
I've got to learn to trust the process, though I've got half a mind to leave this all behind. Who am I kidding? What's the worth of the writer with no words? I quit too soon to see the progress and wonder why I feel so aimless and ill-defined. So sick of this spinning, I'm inconsistent and I'm tired of being let down. Chorus: When I'm finally free from this craving to create something that's bigger than me will it be due to my resign? Or because I have found happy in its own right? Seems I'm always sad about something, it's the same-old-same, I've been at it since I could write. I'm drenched and dripping with the lies I believe about myself. Why do I stay thick as thieves with this misery when what I need is so easily in reach? Be honest, are you happy? Honestly, such a simple plea with a simple offering. And it's just hanging there in front of me. Oh, these reckless roots run through me and I'm afraid they've got me planted in place. The unrest of my youth consumes me, and I've spent my whole life trying to escape. Chorus Oh because I have found happy, it's alright

credits

released July 7, 2021

Lyrics Written by Shadow Quesinberry
Composed and Arranged by Shadow Quesinberry and Ryan Dyson
Engineered and Mixed by Ryan Dyson
Mastered by Bernie Grundman at Bernie Grundman Mastering
Cover Art by Destiny Hagendorfer

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Shadow Mocksville, North Carolina

a twenty-something singer/songwriter from nc

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